Bondage For Beginners

October 31, 2019

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Bondage For Beginners!

When you think of “kinky”, often the first thing that pops into your head is the image of whips and chains, pain and pleasure . . . and some guy with a cheesy 70s pornstar mustache. But erotic bondage and discipline is both far more common and far less extreme than most people think. Millions of couples have incorporated light bondage and fantasy discipline into their every-day sex lives without going to extremes. Once the practice is understood for what it is – and what it isn’t – then incorporating this kind of fantasy sex into your life is a great way to inject some passion and intensity into your relationship.

Restraints

Erotic bondage is, quite simply, the use of restraints on one partner during sex to suggest a loss of control that many find exciting. Control games such as tying up or blindfolding your partner can be highly stimulating – some lovers who have a hard time reaching orgasm because of control issues find it far easier to do so once they have abandoned themselves to a light bondage scenario. The restraints, as nominal as they might be, give them permission to relax and “let go” for their lover. Of course there are degrees of bondage play, from a simple binding of hands with a silk tie or pantyhose, through the use of light handcuffsor Velcro bindings, all the way up to rather extreme full-body suits that provide a sense of immobility that only a seasoned bondage enthusiast is usually comfortable with.

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Hand in hand with erotic bondage is BDSM – “Bondage & Discipline/Sado-Masochism” – the “whips” part of “whips and chains”. While this aspect might be as daunting to some as bondage is to others, the safe and controlled fantasy power-plays between lovers can inspire great depths of passion, sexual exploration, and mind-numbing orgasms when just the right balance of pain and pleasure is achieved.

Pain And Pleasure

While some are leery of mixing pain with pleasure, the two are naturally combined. The same nerve cells on our skin that register a gentle caress become excited and super-sensitive when a little pain is provided. The purpose of BDSM play is not to injure the recipient of the playful spanking, of course, or even cause a lot of pain – merely to excite and sensitize the flesh to achieve greater responsiveness and orgasm.

Most beginners in BDSM confine themselves to a light spanking, with hand, small whip or paddle, often followed with tiny caresses that can inspire tremendous erotic sensation. Of course many of us have fantasies of control that include pain and spanking – naughty schoolgirl/boy, “French Maid”, boss/secretary, master/slave girl and other erotic role-playing games incorporating some degree of BDSM are highly popular as our culture grows more sexually sophisticated. Accessories to compliment these fantasies are widely available, from paddles, whips, and other “spanking implements” to costumes appropriate to any fantasy.

Sex Play Rules

But even the novice BDSM enthusiast needs to remember a few key rules to restraints and sex play. First there is the “safe word” – a mutually-agreed-upon word unlikely to come up in the scene (“umbrella” or “pickle” are popular) which, when spoken by either party, indicates that someone is feeling uncomfortable with the scenario and wants to stop. Agreeing to a safe word is vital to fostering the sense of trust necessary to have a truly enjoyable BDSM experience.

Another mistake some novices make in their enthusiasm is introducing too many BDSM elements into their sex lives too quickly. Not only can a mountain of whips and handcuffs be intimidating to a partner new to the practice, but trying to incorporate too much too soon can put a strain on the relationship and lead to a disappointing experience. Try introducing one or two elements at a time, and add to them as you and your partner decide which things you found enjoyable. Usually starting with a simple blindfold and an easily-escapable bondage rig – tying your mate’s hands loosely to the bedposts with a couple of old ties or Velcro restraints, for example – is enough of a start to get you and your partner comfortable with the idea. After that, explore your fantasies with expansions of your bondage gear gradually.

An important consideration is how tightly you bind your partner (or wish to be bound yourself.) Many novice BDSM enthusiasts make the mistake of thinking that the best way to begin is by tightly immobilizing their partner to the point where escape on their own is difficult or impossible. While it’s true that a loss of control is implicit in the BDSM experience, it’s also important to remember that a novice is going to be nervous about that loss of control and might panic when faced with true immobility. Usually the simple illusion of immobility is quite enough to convince someone to abandon their sense of control – once they are satisfied that they can escape at will if they get uncomfortable. Lightly-restricting bondage gear with quick-release fasteners is usually perfectly adequate for a beginner’s BDSM experience.

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The Safest Sex Toy Materials

October 24, 2019

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The Safest Sex Toy Materials

By Nicole Martinez

Although most sex toy manufacturers and retailers are quick to highlight the features of their products — how many times have you seen the “Waterproof” logo or wondered just how many vibration patterns a toy actually needs? — you should also pay attention to the material of sex toys. While it’s true that higher quality vibrators and dildos may have a higher initial investment, some materials are simply safer and healthier. If money is your bottom line, consider that safer materials also tend to need less replacing; thus, you may be saving money in the long run, when you purchase a sex toy made of safe materials.

Generally speaking, the safest materials are those that are non-porous or have a low porosity. Porous materials, like traditional jelly toys, have tiny holes that can harbor bacteria, even when your sex toy is physically clean. Most people disinfect items and surfaces in their home, even if those items come nowhere near the orifices of the body so why wouldn’t you want the same for your sex toy? Non-porous toys may also leak chemicals or oils, have a strong, unpleasant odor and can leech colors from other toys.

The following toys are completely non-pourous, when the entire toy is one piece. You can not only clean these materials with soap and water, but you can boil them for three minutes or treat them with the same bleach recipe that you would use to clean baby toys or bottles to disinfect. Toys without moving parts are safe to sanitize on the top shelf of your dishwasher, in a cycle without detergent. Note that many toys use a combination of materials. Any toy that has a seam offers a place for dirt and grime to hide, just like grout between tiles, even if the materials are all non-pores.

Silicone

Manufacturers such as Tantus have always crafted high-quality silicone products. Silicone ranges from rock-hard to lifelike, if you purchase Tantu’s SuperSoft dildos or a VikSkin piece from Vixen. Big name companies like California Exotics now also produce a variety of silicone toys. However, companies can label their toys as silicone if they only contain 10% silicone. Be wary of silicone composites such as TPR Silicone because these are somewhat porous. Silicone should have no scent or taste and, most importantly, you can flame test it with a lighter. Pure silicone will not melt in temperatures lower than 600-degrees Fahrenheit; however, the flame test may leave a temporary smudge.

Glass

Glass may seem like an odd material for a sex toy at first but many people love its rigidity for hitting the right spot without a lot of force. It’s incredibly easy to feel the textures of glass sex toys and you can even apply cool or warm water for temperature play –never put the toy in the freeze or microwave as this can weaken the glass. Phallix is especially known for its glass dildos and some even include 24-karat gold.

Rest assured that your glass dildo will not break or even splinter aside of you; however, you may want to take care to store it in a padded pouch and to hold it securely when washing. Glass is especially easy to clean because it is so slick. For this reason, you can also use glass vibrators and dildos with less lubricant than you might need with other materials.

Metal

Metal sex toys, like the anal plugs and dildos from manufacturer Njoy, are rigid like glass but much heavier. Because of this, you may want to thrust more gently to avoid hitting your cervix or other sensitive parts and you want to avoid hitting your sink or dropping them on tile floors as you can damage your home. However, metal toys offer the benefit of being non-porous as well as responsive to temperature changes.

Acrylics, Ceramics and Wood

Acrylic, ceramic and wood sex toys are not as common as silicone or even glass but consumers enjoy them because they offer hardness without the added weight. These materials may be non-porous; however, you should take care when cleaning them, For example, acrylic and ceramic dildos can scratch and you should not submerge wood because the moisture can allow mold to grow in your sex toys. Stick to soap and water cleaning.

Ceramic vibrators and dildos are crafted, painted and then treated with a tough glaze that makes them non-porous and difficult to scratch. Ceramics come in every color of the rainbow and the glaze allows your ceramic sex toy to be painted with interesting designs like the dildos and vibrators from Lovemoiselle. Charles Duncan designs bright red and black ceramic pieces with unique shapes.

Acrylics, on the other hand, are a hard, synthetic plastic polymer. Acrylic dildos are translucent or transparent and often clear. However, you may find translucent acrylic sex toys with a hint of color, such as blue or pink.

Wood sex toys, like ceramic, are shaped and treated with a glaze, similar to a wooden salad bowl, that makes them healthy and safe. This safe treatment prevents the wood from splintering. Wood is quite light in comparison to other materials. Check out the dildo and anal toys from toy company Nobessence.

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Couples Sex Advice Eight Tips That Will Help You to Overcome a Dry Spell in Your Marriage

October 24, 2019

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Couples Sex Advice: Eight Tips That Will Help You to Overcome a Dry Spell in Your Marriage

By Dr. E. C. Gordon

The claim that a married sex life is necessarily repetitive or stale is an inaccurate cliché. If you and your spouse are finding physical intimacy to be unsatisfying in its nature or frequency, you do not simply need to accept that this is how things will continue to be. Read on to discover the eight most effective and straightforward things that you can do in order to overcome a sexual dry spell in your marriage, and learn how to make married sex hot, fun and passionate once again.

1) Don’t let your sex life cause depression or anxiety:

It is vital to remember that almost all couples experience periods of diminished sexual desire or satisfaction. Even people who are deeply in love and sexually open-minded can still find their sex lives destroyed by stress, family responsibilities or health problems. It is also common to have a temporarily reduced libido and be entirely unsure of the cause, even when you are still extremely attracted to your partner. Problems in the bedroom do not have to indicate that the marriage is destined to fail, and they are not indications that a good sex life is a thing of the past. In addition, it is important that you not be fooled by popular claims about how much sex is healthy, or how much sex a married couple ‘needs’ to have. Such claims only cause doubt and insecurity, and they are deeply misleading because what is healthy or necessary varies greatly from one relationship to another. With these thoughts in mind, it will be easier for you to avoid panicking or becoming extremely distraught in response to a dry spell in your marriage. If you can stay calm and keep thinking in a productive way, it will be a lot easier to improve your sex life with your spouse. A relaxed attitude to intimacy more easily leads to fun, uninhibited experimentation, while believing that your physical relationship is doomed usually ends up contaminating your everyday interactions as well.

2) Encourage open and honest communication about sex:

Although sex is becoming increasingly less taboo as a topic of conversation, some married couples still feel too uncomfortable and apprehensive to instigate a sober and direct conversation about their sex lives. However, studies repeatedly show that people who frequently discuss their sexual needs and desires tend to be much more likely to describe their sex lives as satisfying and enjoyable. If you are going to move past a dry spell in your marriage, it is important to be able to give each other suggestions regarding what would make physical intimacy more enjoyable for you. Is there a new way you would like to be touched? Do you want to learn what frequency of sex would be ideal for your spouse? These sorts of questions can help to restructure your sex life in a way that pleases you both, and you will also find that discussing what turns you on can be instrumental in spiking levels of desire. It is exciting to hear about what your partner likes most about you and your sexual prowess, and it can also be thrilling to confess to some fantasies that you have hitherto kept secret.

3) Adopt an open-minded approach to trying new things in your sex life:

After years of having sex, married couples often fall into a minimally enjoyable and practical routine when it comes to making love. While this is better than having no sex life at all, it can become a dull or empty experience for one or both parties. In spite of this, you may be hesitant and uncomfortable at the thought of changing your routine. You may worry about your partner laughing at your new ideas, or fear that you will develop stage fright in the face of attempting a new technique in bed. One way to get around this intimidating roadblock is to agree to write a list of things that you want to think about trying. Once you and your spouse have worked out what should be on such a list, you can sit down and talk about what seems most appealing (and remember that you are not obligated to actually show your partner the list). If even this approach sounds too daunting, try browsing the internet to find checklists of sexual ideas. This is an excellent way to discover which things you want to try out or discount, and some of the items on this checklist may spark result in entirely new ideas of your own. In addition, most couples can find a lot of humor in this activity, as few are drawn to the most extreme options.

4) Try to make bedtime more conducive to sexual intimacy:

First, it is important that you be able to feel attracted to your spouse regardless of whether they are wearing a sexy outfit or an old t-shirt. However, you are unlikely to consistently burn with lust if you see your partner in an ill-fitting pajama set every time you go to bed. If one or both of you stop putting in effort when it comes to dressing for bed, this can unfortunately have an adverse influence on the level of sexual desire and chemistry that exists between you. Bear in mind that neither of you need to squeeze into fetish wear in order to make going to bed more conducive to sex; simply going to bed in your underwear (or nothing at all) can set your spouse’s pulse racing.

5) Remember that there are important sexual benefits that come with marriage:

While you might fall into the trap of thinking that life would be more fun if you had multiple new partners on a regular basis or were just starting to have sex with a new love, don’t forget that married couples get to enjoy many benefits that are lacked in such circumstances. For one thing, you know that if something goes wrong in the bedroom then this one bad performance won’t shake your partner’s commitment or make them reconsider being with you. In addition, when you are with someone who knows you well and is committed to loving you, there is more freedom to be honest about certain sexual fantasies and activities that you would like to explore. Finally, knowing one another’s bodies as well as you do means that when making love goes well it can be profoundly satisfying in a way that a one night stand or a sex session with a new person seldom turns out to be.

6) Realize that sexual problems can infect other areas of your marriage:

If you are struggling to find the courage to talk to your spouse about your sex life concerns, one thing that might motivate you is the knowledge that a bad sex life seldom remains insolated. It almost always causes further interpersonal problems. In contrast, better physical intimacy usually improves your emotional connection with your partner, so it is well worth having a frank discussion about your sex life. As your sex life gets better, so will everyday aspects of your marriage, and in response to these interpersonal improvements the sex is likely to improve even more.

7) Do not assume that you already know everything about your partner’s body:

When you have been married for years or decades, it is all too easy to believe that you must have already learned everything that there is to know about your spouse’s erogenous zones and sexual responses. In truth, there is always more to learn, and abandoning the mistaken assumption that you know it all can lead to newly heightened sexual creativity. Each person is different when it comes to which areas feel best when stimulated, so try exploring new parts of your partner’s body during foreplay (either with your hands or your mouth). Some people love to be softly kissed on the back, while others experience shivers of pleasure when the sensitive skin of the scalp is stroked. Giving or receiving a full-body massage is also an enjoyable and relaxing way to learn about surprisingly pleasurable or arousing areas of the body. Constantly trying to find new sensitive spots and experimenting with new ways of stimulating the confirmed erogenous zones helps to stop sex from being a predictable, businesslike affair.

8) Work to make your bedroom a place associated with sexual intimacy:

It is important to be able to see your bedroom as place in which you can enjoy freedom and relaxation away from your daily obligations. Often, this will mean making sure that it is free from children and pets, especially since it seems that these family members are particularly prone to bursting in at the exact moment that you and your spouse are becoming amorous. While any children you have should feel free to knock on your door for attention if they need help or assistance, your sex life will improve if your children do not enter the room without permission.

If you keep the above tips in mind, then with a little time and effort you should be able to overcome a dry spell in your marriage. However, it is important to note that all is not lost if you and your spouse still find that you are struggling. Some couples counselors specialize in sexual therapy, and they may be able to get to the heart of why your sex life remains so unsatisfying.

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Thirteen Tips to Help You Prolong Sex and Be a Better Lover

October 24, 2019

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Thirteen Tips to Help You Prolong Sex and Be a Better Lover

By Dr. E. C. Gordon

Thirteen Tips to Help You Prolong Sex and Be a Better Lover

When men are asked how their sex lives could be improved, most admit that they feel they would be better lovers if they had a higher degree of sexual stamina. However, most also believe that they have no real hope of obtaining substantially longer-lasting erections without the use of medication. Thankfully, this is not the case. By incorporating the following thirteen tips into your sex life, you can achieve stronger and more effective erections without being prescribed drugs.

1) Vary your diet as much as possible:
Several interesting studies on male sexual performance have revealed that men with a limited diet have less healthy circulatory systems. If your circulatory system is not functioning to the best of its ability, it is more likely that you will have problems achieving and maintaining an erection (as the blood flow to your penis will be poor). To boost your circulation, make sure that you are getting enough energy from your meals. Eat plenty of protein, as well as carbohydrate-rich food such as brown bread, pasta and rice.

2) Adopt positions that increase blood flow:
When your partner is on top, it is harder for your body to make sure that your penis receives a consistent and adequate amount of blood. This leaves you with a less reliable erection that is more likely to fizzle out before you and your partner are fully satisfied. If you want to prolong sex, make love in positions that allow you to be on top of your partner. In missionary and rear entry positions, the blood flow to your erection will be stronger and more consistent. Of course, you may find it repetitive or dull to have only two sexual positions in your repertoire, so try doing some online research in order to discover more positions that will allow you to be on top and thereby maximize blood flow.

3) Reduce the level of fat in your diet:
Testosterone is the most important male hormone when it comes to sexual desire and achieving strong erections. However, fatty foods reduce the level of testosterone in your body, making it more difficult for you to make sex last as long as you would like it to. If you cut down on the amount of fat that you consume, it is not just your penis that will thank you; your heart and waistline will benefit as well.

4) Reduce your sexual sensitivity:
For some men, the problem encountered when trying to prolong sex is not erection loss but rather an undesirably quick ejaculation. If this is an issue for you, one thing that might help a great deal is a reduction in the level of stimulation during intercourse. Sometimes, learning how to temporarily shift your attention away from sex can work wonders by allowing you to calm down and delay your orgasm. There are also some condoms specifically designed to reduce sensitive in order to boost sexual stamina, and you might want to try some of these if psychological efforts yield no results.

5) Look into the side effects of any drugs you are taking:
Unfortunately, some of the most important and effective medications can lead to erection problems and poor sexual stamina. Anti-depressants are some of the main culprits, with a decreased sex drive and less reliable erections being two of the most common side effects reported by patients. Many drugs that treat high blood pressure are also linked to a reduction in sexual stamina, as are certain muscle relaxants. Take a look at your medications and do some thorough research into their side effects. If you find a strong connection between one of your drugs and the problems that you are having in your sex life, approach your doctor so that you can discuss finding a similarly effective medication that might not influence your erections. However, it is vital that you not stop taking any prescribed medications unless expressly instructed to do so.

6) Cut down on alcohol consumption:
Alcohol reduces your responsiveness to physical stimulation, and this includes sexual stimulation. This means that even the skilled touch of your partner may not be able to turn on you on enough to allow you to develop and maintain an erection. If you keep your drinking in check (especially when you know you are going to be having sex later that day), you stand a much better chance of prolonging sex and satisfying your partner.

7) Combat sexual anxiety:
Many men experience problems with performance anxiety, as it is easy to feel as though you are under a great amount of pressure to be a good lover. Losing an erection can be embarrassing in a lot of contexts, and fear of this happening to you can unfortunately end up being at the forefront of your mind when you are just about to have sex. Of course, focusing on feelings of anxiety and low self-confidence actually decrease your chances of having a long and satisfying sexual experience, as erections are quick to disappear when negative emotions are felt. If this sort of performance anxiety is one of the things that are making you feel as though you are not as good a lover as you could be, one of the main ways to help yourself is to have a frank and honest conversation with your partner. You may think that you are the only one who experiences self-doubt in relation to sex, but your partner will most likely share some of her own insecurities and help you to realize that some of your worst fears about negative judgment are actually unfounded. This will make it easier for you to relax during sex in the future, and if you are genuinely having fun without fear then you will be much more likely to be able to prolong sex. If getting rid of your problematic anxiety proves to be more complicated, you might consider seeing a relationship counselor who specializes in helping couples get over psychological issues connected to sex.

8) Quit smoking:
In addition to being connected to a whole host of potentially fatal diseases, smoking cigarettes is linked to the development of poor circulation. Without good circulation, you have little hope of regularly attaining firm and long-lasting erections.

9) Reduce the frequency of masturbation:
If you want to be able to maintain a strong and long-lasting erection, try to make sure that you don’t masturbate in the twelve hour period before having sex. Masturbation uses up some of the blood flow that you need in order to avoid losing an erection during intercourse. In addition, it is worth noting that you might be having problems with sexual performance because frequent masturbation is ‘teaching’ your body to respond exclusively to your own very specific touch. If you reduce the frequency of masturbation and try to add variety to your techniques, you will find that your body will start to learn to respond to all sorts of different types and speeds of sexual stimulation. This will make it easier to maintain a strong erection when your partner is pleasuring you or when you are making love.

10) Keep your body fit:
If you regularly exercise, you will have a stronger cardiovascular system that is more readily able to supply your erections with the necessary blood flow during sex.

11) Pace yourself in the bedroom:
It is easy to get carried away with passion and enthusiasm when you are about to have sex with an attractive partner. However, if you use up all of your energy in the first five minutes of foreplay or sex, the resulting tiredness increases your risk of losing your erection before the lovemaking is over.

12) Buy a penis ring:
Penis rings are affordable little rubber rings that sit at the base of the penis during sex. They trap blood in your penis, helping you to prolong sex by aiding you in maintaining a firm erection. They do not work for everyone, but given that they cost so little then you may be want to invest in one to see whether they might offer a simple solution to your problems.

13) Consider buying zinc supplements:
Zinc encourages your body to produce plenty of testosterone and improves sperm count (as well as sperm quality). If you want to prolong sex by achieving longer-lasting erections, it may be worth your while to try taking zinc for a while in order to see whether there is any noticeable difference.

Although these diet and lifestyle modifications should lead to obvious and sustained improvements in your sex life, you should not expect miracles! It takes time and effort to deal with sexual anxiety, improve your diet, or learn how to adopt new sexual positions that boost blood flow. However, if after substantial time and effort you do not experience an increased ability to prolong sex, you should discuss your concerns with your doctor. Sometimes, problems achieving and maintaining erections are related to underlying health problems, and your doctor will be able to launch the appropriate investigations that may allow you to find a straightforward solution.

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Seven Tips for Dealing With Incompatible Sex Drives

October 24, 2019

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Seven Tips for Dealing With Incompatible Sex Drives

by Dr. E. C. Gordon

Seven Tips for Dealing With Incompatible Sex Drives

Although sex is not the most important part of a long term relationship, partners with different sex drives can find that this incompatibility starts to interfere with other aspects of their relationship. If your partner seems to be less interested in sex, you can feel unattractive, insecure and frustrated. Meanwhile, if your partner wants to have more frequent sex, you can feel pressured and resentful. Read on to discover seven tips that will help you to understand and deal with the difference between your partner’s sex drive and your own.

1) Have a long, honest conversation:
If you refuse to talk about your sex life, any problems can be magnified and can start to infect unexpected parts of your interpersonal dynamic. After a while, the whole relationship may turn sour. Given these possibilities, avoiding the issue is one of the worst decisions you can make if you and your partner have incompatible sex drives. That being said, many people find it awkward and uncomfortable to have frank conversations about sex, so if you decide to be the one to instigate the conversation then make sure you do so in a way that encourages your partner to open up. Start out by saying that you are not blaming anyone for the issues in your sex life, and that you want to discuss them so that you can work together to find a solution that will make things better. If the conversation starts to become an argument, try to keep calm and remind your partner that you only want to discuss this topic because you care about making sure that the relationship is as good as it can possibly be.

2) Find out whether foreplay is an issue:
People sometimes start to desire sex less because they are not deriving as much enjoyment from the act. In some cases, this is because one partner needs considerably more foreplay in order to feel like they are in the mood for sex. If you are the person with the higher sex drive, ask your partner if they think they would enjoy physical intimacy more if you spent more time kissing or touching before sex. Meanwhile, if you have realized that you would want to have sex more often if your partner tried harder to ‘warm you up’, then say so. This information does not have to be presented in the form of a criticism. For example, you might simply choose to say that you love the way your partner touches you and that you think you would find sex even hotter if more of this foreplay was involved.

3) Consider different forms of sexual intimacy:
Incompatible sex drives occasionally result from physical difficulties or discomfort. For example, men who struggle with erection problems may have lower sex drives due to nervousness and anxiety associated with sex. Meanwhile, women who have regularly experienced pain during sex may start to shy away from the act in case it hurts them. If you and your partner think that your sex life is being undermined by these types of physical issues, give some thought to expanding your sex life. For example, you might start focusing on manual or oral stimulation instead of intercourse.

4) Never have sex if you do not truly want to:
If your sex drive is lower than your partner’s, their unhappiness and your own feelings of guilt may make you feel as though you should just ‘get on with it’ even if you do not feel like doing so. While this may temporarily please the other person, it tends to have negative consequences in the long term. You may feel used or disconnected from your partner, and if they realize that you are having sex when you do not want to then they may feel offended and embarrassed. This type of well-meaning deception can cause trust issues that run deeper and last longer than the problems in your sex life.

5) Never pressure your partner to have sex:
If you have a higher sex drive than your partner, it is vital that you never make them feel as though they are under pressure to have sex with you. While you should always be honest if a lack of sex is making you unhappy, you need to draw a distinction between being truthful about your feelings and trying to manipulate your partner into being physically intimate so that you feel better. Your partner is under no obligation to do anything that they do not want to do, and trying to pressure someone into having sex is a form of psychological abuse that violates the person’s autonomy.

6) Think about trying new things:
If you used to have compatible sex drives and there are no obvious physical or emotional issues that could be causing a reduction in one of your sex drives, boredom may be the root cause. Although it is often easiest to continue repeating a tried and tested sexual routine, over time the repetition can lead to one or both parties feeling somewhat numb to what used to be a satisfying source of stimulation. When prompted to reflect, the member of the relationship with the lower sex drive may realize and admit that they would be more interested in sex if there was more variety on offer. You can then discuss new positions, purchases and ideas that might make intimacy more exciting (and make your sex drives more compatible).

7) Explore counseling:
Finally, sex therapists and certain relationship counselors are trained to help couples explore the reasons underlying their sexual difficulties, so it is worth considering this option if discussions between you and your partner have not managed to improve your sex life. Although it sounds daunting to discuss something so personal with a stranger, remember that counselors and therapists are required to abstain from judgmental behavior or remarks and that they will have seen many other couples with problems that are more unusual than yours.

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Seven Sensual Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

October 24, 2019

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Seven Sensual Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

By Dr E. C. Gordon

When you have been in a relationship for years or even decades, your sex life often becomes something of a routine. Once you have learned about the things that your partner enjoys, it is tempting to just repeat these specific acts. After all, they are successful, and trying new things comes with the possibility of failure. However, once sex becomes predictable then it starts to become merely pleasant as opposed to passionate, and from there it can easily become boring. In addition, couples often become rather lazy about sex as the years wear on, all but eliminating foreplay or allowing it to turn into a cursory process. Read on to learn about seven ways to add some sensuality to your sex life and improve your relationship in the process.

1) Make foreplay last much longer:
A lot of couples will simply kiss for a few minutes before moving on to intercourse, or pay lip service to the idea of foreplay by briefly caressing each other before getting undressed. However, if you do this then you are missing out on a lot of intimacy and on the chance to make the sex itself more intense. Firstly, sex without foreplay can be quite impersonal and can sometime makes one or both of you feel somewhat ‘used’. On the other hand, taking the time to really explore your partner’s body with your hands and mouth will make them feel strongly desired, and being treated this way in return will create the same feelings in you. Secondly, if foreplay is drawn out then the anticipation will make you both much more lustful. This is likely to make you much more enthusiastic when you eventually make love, and equally likely to increase the level of satisfaction that you feel at the end of the night.

2) Experiment with using a blindfold:
When you are blindfolded, all of your other senses are heightened. This means that you are likely to experience more sexual pleasure. In addition, you will enjoy the excitement of wondering when and where your partner’s next touch will come. Wearing a blindfold during foreplay or sex is also a great way to cautiously experiment with being submissive to you partner, and the lack of control that you have over the situation can be thrilling. Next time, trade places and be the one to blindfold your partner.

3) Learn how to give each other a thorough massage:
A massage creates deep relaxation and the sort of intimacy that leads to better lovemaking. If you have the time and the interest, you could take a short massage course in order to learn how to expertly relieve tension in your partner. Alternatively, you might just want to shop for a smooth and pleasantly scented massage oil. Some of these oils are designed for foreplay and will be specially scented in a way that enhances sensuality. In addition, some flavored sexual lubricants double as massage oils, so you can combine massage with some more substantial foreplay.

4) Try abstaining from sex for a while:
Talk to your partner and agree on a length of time during which you will not make love at all. During this period, enjoy all of the forms of physical intimacy that young lovers tend to experience before they decide to have sex. When intercourse is not an option, you will work harder to please each other in all of these ways. When you finally return to having sex, you will hopefully hold on to all that you have learned and decide to incorporate it into fun and sensual foreplay.

5) Take a bath together:
Before you even get down to real foreplay, consider going for a hot bath together. The image of a couple in a bubble bath gently lit by candles may sound like a tired cliché, but the experience can be both relaxing and highly intimate. You might try surprising your partner with a bubble bath after work, and you could share a bottle of wine or some favourite chocolate while you bathe. After the bath, you will probably find that you are in the ideal mood for slow, sensual sex.

6) Have sex somewhere new:
In addition to approaching sex somewhat differently, you might want to start thinking about where you have it. A new location will help to spark new behaviours and encourage you to try new positions. If you always make love in bed, try moving to the shower or the sofa. If you have an entirely private yard, have sex outside in the summer.

7) Pick out lingerie together:
If you are female, encourage your partner to go shopping with you so that you can get some help and input when picking out sexy new bras and underwear. If your partner is female, go shopping and pick out a surprise (or find a few potential gifts online and let her choose which ones she likes best).

If you keep these seven tips in mind and work to include at least half of them in the way that you approach sex with your partner, your sex life will become more sensual and less predictable. You may also want to explore some more adventurous amendments to your sex life, but you should first start with the basics by working to create a greater degree of intimacy and a larger amount of sexual chemistry.

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How to Realize Your Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner

October 24, 2019

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How to Realize Your Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner

by Calvin Kelly

How to realize your sexual fantasies with your partner

We all have sexual fantasies. Some are tame idiosyncrasies while others can be intricately hardcore. Either way, if you want them to play out in real life, you’re likely to need a willing partner. The crucial element in undertaking the realization of these ideas is trust between yourself and your significant other. Especially when they may be stepping out of their comfort zone to make it happen. So how do you broach the subject and what rules should you follow to ensure that you both enjoy the experience?

Before opening the floor to fantasy confession, make sure your relationship is in a healthy state. It’s unlikely that you’ll both have the same fantasies, so at its core you’re dealing with compromise and nothing stunts this process like an unresolved argument. Choose an appropriate place where you can talk freely, and a time where you can both focus on the topic without any lurking interruptions. Begin by asking if there’s anything new they would like to try in the bedroom. Make it about what turns them on.

If they’re unsure, suggest minor experimentation at first. Don’t come flying out of the blocks with heavy bondage gear. Small steps will ensure there’s no shock factor that leads to him or her closing the door on fantasies for good. It’s important to make them believe that you want to fulfill their desires. At the end of the day you’re going to be asking them to play a part in your fantasy and they will be far more willing to participate if they feel you’re paying attention to their needs first. Give before you can take.

Once your partner has made a suggestion that you are both comfortable with, make sure you stick to what was discussed even in the heat of the moment. Obviously if they respond favorably during whatever is it you’ll be doing, then taking it up a notch is an option. But ask them first. Communication while you’re getting down and dirty is vital, it reduces the possibility of detracting, awkward moments. Talking will also pump up the eroticism. Hearing them verbally describe how good it feels and what else they’d like to do will definitely raise the level of intensity.

Once a dialogue has been opened regarding the fulfillment of fantasies and you have willingly entertained your partners ideas, your turn should come around automatically. If not, then it’s time for you to either lay down the law, or move on. In most cases however, they will be keen to reciprocate. As with their fantasy, start slow with yours. Small steps add anticipation to your sexual relationship, whereas if you go straight for your ultimate fantasy, it’ll be tougher to figure out what’s next, never mind the possibility of scaring them off for good.

No matter how intense your fantasies are, if you allow your partner to slowly adapt to them, you’re less likely to encounter hesitation or refusal. Below are a few good starting points for an array of the better known fantasies.

Bondage

Use everyday items like your partners tie or a stocking to secure them to a bed or table. It will feel less like actual bondage and more like you’re just playing around.

Sex toys

Start with a small, lipstick-sized vibrator, and use it externally to begin with. It’s about getting used to something else in the bed.

Exhibitionism

Try your own garden first before you take on a not so hidden public rendezvous. Make sure it’s late afternoon or evening so the light isn’t too harsh.

Domination

Tell your partner that the next time you’re getting frisky, it’s going to be all about them, but that you’re in control. If they flinch at something you’re doing, communicate and take a step back if necessary.

Role Play

Start the discussion over email or text so it’s less embarrassing than having it face to face. Keep the tone light and playful, humorous if possible.

Everyone has an inner deviant in them. Some let in come to the surface freely, while others don’t even know it exists. No matter which category your partner falls into, you can, through subtle suggestion, unselfish actions and clear communication, enjoy the realization of your fantasies. Start with opening the dialogue, take small steps, be aware of your partners physical and emotional responses and respect the boundaries you’ve both agreed upon. In this way, you can go further than you previously imagined and have incredible amounts of fun along the way

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Love And Sex Toys Tips For Shopping And Sharing

October 24, 2019

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Love And Sex Toys Tips For Shopping And Sharing

by Naomi Bergner

Whether your relationship is starting to feel stagnant or you just want something to spice up an evening, sex toys can add a playful level of fun to your life. There are now many online stores as well as retail options available, so shopping for these romantic playthings can be done in person or from the comfort of your home. The popularity of these establishments indicates a growing demand for variety and quality in adult entertainment.

Here are a few tips to remember when delving into the world of sex toys.

1. They’re toys, have fun. Many vibrators and other implements come in an array of bright colors and shapes which might look strangely alien at first. The more you read and observe, the more you’ll start to understand the form and function. If you are fortunate enough to have an adult store near you that carries these items, stop in and touch. Don’t be shy. Pick them up and hold them to observe the weight and feel. If your establishment is really on the ball and has included batteries, turn on vibrators and check the sound. Take a friend or your lover with you and go ahead and laugh.

2. Start out easy. If this is a new experience, don’t go online and order the Screaming Banshee Deep Penetrating Orgasm Inducer. There are plenty of modest sex toys that won’t leave you scratching your head trying to figure out how to use them or limping in pain the next day. Go with your comfort level and make sure your partner is on board with you.

3. Don’t buy one that’s bigger than your man. After you start out easy, you might be ready to move to the next level. Sure, it’s nice to have that extra large dildo around for those times you want an all-the-way full experience, but keep this one hidden. Your man might like the thought of you pleasuring yourself, but chances are he wants to be the biggest gun in your cabinet. There are plenty of other toys you can share together.

4. Keep your goodies safe, clean and hidden. Any item that penetrates a body orifice should be clean, so make sure to wash your toys thoroughly after use. Check them for cracks, rips or tears every time. Have a “toy box” just for these items, and make sure they are well hidden from any prying eyes in your household.

5. Read reviews, ask questions. Most online toy sites have a product review section. Wander through this and if you have a question send an email. Many of these toys are pricey, so make sure you get what you want.

Using sex toys can take a relationship to a more intimate, stimulating level. Couples of all ages are exploring this territory and finding a new way to relate to their partners. Be bold, be innovative, have fun.

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Couples Sex Toys: Revive The Spark In Your Relationship

October 24, 2019

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How to Revive Your Relationship’s Spark (Top 6 Eye-Opening Secrets)

According to the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics, there were more than 700,000 divorce cases in 2017, and the number has been rising exponentially. Without a doubt, the high number of separations is a testament to the hurts and wounds that relationships are sustaining both in America and across the globe.

The article will enlighten you on what marriage and relationships therapists are saying about rekindling the fire of your relationship. We suggest you and your partner come down to a Romantic Depot location near you and browse our adult sex toys, join a workshop and in doing so you’ll hit all 6 of these tips.

1. Communicate Frequently and Effectively

There are only three rules to successful relationships. These are:
– Communication
– Communication
– Communication
Most relationships turn sour because of poor or lack of communication. Effective communication, in contrast, enhances your connectivity with your partner and helps you exude positive emotions that strengthen your relationship’s bonds.

In addition, good communication enables you to address issues in your relationship clearly and in a non-judgmental manner, minimizing possibilities of conflicts and confusions.

2. Listen Actively

Active listening is as crucial as effective communication. M. Scott Peck, a renowned American psychiatrist, contended that it is not possible to fully listen while doing something else. To listen to your partner effectively, focus on what he/she is saying without daydreaming, desist from planning your response ahead of time, and be genuinely interested in what your partner is saying.

3. Ask! Don’t Assume

The “I thought…” has crippled many relationships, both new and long-term.

When in doubt of something, have the courage to ask for clarification instead of relying on assumptions. Sometimes (most times) your assumptions will be inaccurate, causing you to hurt the feelings/perceptions of your partner.

Avoid assumptions as much as possible because they impair understanding, dent communication, and ignite unreasonable conflicts in your relationship.

4. Redo What Made You Fall in Love in the First Place

The activities that you stopped doing could be the culprits for your depressing love life. To rekindle your relationship’s fire, make a list of the crazy things you used to do together after falling in love.

These things could be going out on Friday nights, preparing exquisite meals together, or playing video games on your laptop. Besides reviving your relationship’s spark and excitement, these activities make you fall in love again and again.

5. Compliment Your Partner but Don’t Overdo it

What gasoline is to vehicles is what compliments are to relationships. Compliments motivate your partner, foster a solid trust, and spice up your romance life. Dare to throw a genuine compliment to your partner when she buys a beautiful dress, when he gets a good hair cut, or when he perfectly matches his fashionable outfit.

6. Put Your Phone Down

Recent studies conducted on human interactions have unveiled that technology, especially the use of mobile phones, has drastically led to an increase in separation and divorce cases. Putting your phone down or turning it off eliminates the element of distraction, allowing you to engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with your partner. In effect, you will narrow your emotional distance and enjoy an enriching relationship.

Do you want to start enjoying your relationship with a whole new level of desire? Communicate effectively, listen attentively, avoid assumptions, start doing the things you did after falling in love, frequently compliment your partner, and minimize interactions with your phone.

We Can Help

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Couples Sex Toys

Looking for activities that can build trust and allow couples to play together? Check out our BDSM products. We also have BDSM workshops to help get you started!

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6 Quick Tips on How to Spice Up Your Lovelife!

October 24, 2019

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6 Quick Tips on How to Spice Up Your Lovelife!

Once the “honeymoon period” is over, and there’s no “thrill of the chase” to keep you on your toes, it’s easy to fall prey to a familiar routine in a relationship. When was the last time you had a conversation with your partner that wasn’t about the household chores, kids, scheduling logistics, or your jobs? Here are a few tips to spice up your lovelife:

1. Commit to a date night: Set aside a mutually-convenient day during your week, as a delightful escape just for the two of you. This doesn’t mean an expensive fine-dining and movie after. Date nights can be affordable – a day out at the beach, picnic at your favorite spot in the park, or the good old Netflix and chill.

2. Make the first move: Gone are the days when women were expected to wait and be wooed. Take charge, and turn the tables every once in a while. Make a reservation at his favorite Chinese place, book a weekend getaway for the both of you, learn something new in the bedroom, or sign up for a hobby you’re both into!

3. Remember the little things: Your gestures don’t need to be grand, and extravagant enough to make an impact. Leave a love-note, notice and compliment the new haircut, pick a household chore he hates and do it, hold hands in public, or surprise him with something on his wishlist!

4. Don’t fight on texts: Having a rough-relationship day? Furiously typing passive-aggressive, or long angry texts to each other won’t help. You both aren’t on your best behavior, so most likely, tones will be misconstrued, all nuance will be lost, and your fight will last longer. Hold off your rage-horses, till you’re in the same room and then take a go at it.

5. Plan a scavenger hunt: If he’s just the right kind of adventurous as you are, set up thoughtful clues for him to find, leading up to a big surprise (wink, wink – it could also be you, and the new thing in the bedroom we spoke about!) in the end. Start making a list of all your special memories including “your firsts” – date, kiss, I love you’s, vacation – and build your clues around them. Pick your hiding places, get some loved ones to be on the game for some extra fun, add little presents on the way, and voila – you’re looking at a memorable day to cherish, and bond with each other.

6. Explore Each Other: Intimacy is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, without it you have a friendship. Take the time to explore each others kinks, fantasies and bodies. Visiting your local adult toy store together is an excellent opportunity to open up to each other about your desires that may have been missed until now.

Couples Sex Toys

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