Men And Sex Toys

Men Who Fear Sex Toys

November 22, 2019
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Bringing toys into your boudoir is a fun and exciting way to spice up your love life.  However, some men are apprehensive about using toys, and a few may downright refuse.  Why is this?  And how can you help your man get past this?

Why Men are Afraid of Toys

Usually, the reason is a simple and unsurprising one: they make him feel inadequate.

Many men think that the reason you want to introduce toys to your bedroom is because he alone is not enough to satisfy you.  Although this is likely not the case, it will nonetheless bruise his ego.

There are a few things you can try if your man seems less-than-enthusiastic about trying something new.

Start Slow

Don’t be too insistent that he try using toys.  If you suggest them and he says no, don’t ask again for a few days or weeks.  Trying to force toys into your relationship will only further his feelings that he isn’t satisfying you.

Make It Something Special for Him

Give him his own private peep show.  Tell him he is only allowed to watch while you play with your new toy.  Don’t let him join in until he can no longer stand it!

Try this for a birthday or anniversary present, or even as a “just because.”  Hopefully, this will turn him on and help to change his attitude about toys!

Focus on Him

Don’t concentrate too much on they toys.  Use them for foreplay and to get things heated up, but toss them aside after a short while.  Making him the main focus will help ease any feelings of inadequacy.

Size Matters 

Since his apprehension is likely fueled by feeling that he is not man enough, make sure you don’t choose a toy that reinforces these feelings.  Look for a toy that is smaller than he is.  Knowing that his size isn’t in question will make him feel better about the situation.

When All Else Fails…

You may find that no matter your approach, you man is still not comfortable with the idea of bringing toys into the bedroom.  If this is the case for you, you may have to take no for an answer.  

Rather than potentially destroying the relationship, try something else to spice things up in the bedroom, like new positions or techniques.  Keep your toys tucked away for those times when he is out of town or otherwise not around, and settle for using them solo.

Be patient, be thoughtful, and don’t be too pushy.  Hopefully, these tips will help to ease your man’s anxiety about bringing toys into your love life!

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cleaning sex toys

Cleaning Sex Toys

November 8, 2019
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The Top Tips to Remember When
Cleaning Sex Toys
By Romantic Depot

We’re all aware of the various benefits a healthy sex life can bring to us. From improved mental and physical health to strengthing our relationships with our partners, it can’t be overstated how important being sexually active is for us as adult human beings.

One of the best ways to practice a healthy sexual lifestyle, either alone or with a partner, is to introduce sex toys into the equation. But like every other sexual activity, without taking sexual hygiene into consideration, you can subject yourself to some serious health risks.

Revitalize Sex Toy Cleaner
18.36

Product Description

Keep your favorite pleasure products clean and safe with our spray-on cleanser. Our unique cleansing agent gently cleans and protects, yet it’s mild enough to use every time.

Directions: remove batteries before cleaning battery operated toys. Spray the cleaner over the entire surface area, then wipe with a damp cloth. Rinse thoroughly and dry. This Toy Cleaner is a MUST HAVE for cleaning your toy properly!

We highly recommend buying it to go along with your toy purchase!

That’s why cleaning sex toys properly is so important.

But how exactly do you clean your sex toys in a safe way? Do you need to invest in various sex toy cleaners? And what are the most important tips to keep in mind during the process so both you and your partner can stay happy and healthy?

If you’re asking yourself these kinds of questions, wonder no longer, because we’re here to help! In this article, we’ll give you a basic guideline that you can use to make sure you’re keeping your sex toys clean in a safe and efficient way.

Now then, let’s get started!

Shop with Cleanliness in Mind

When it comes to being hygienic with your sex toys, the process actually starts a lot earlier than you may think. In fact, when you’re shopping for a new sex toy, it’s a good idea to keep cleanliness in mind before making a purchase.

Of course, purchasing items that are easy to clean shouldn’t be your main priority, but it should be something that you seriously consider. The good news? Exciting toys that are made from materials that don’t have any pores, and are therefore the easiest to clean, are easy to find.

Anything made from hard plastic, silicone, elastomer, metal, and glass are all safe bets. So if you find something you like, and it’s made from those materials, you can rest easy knowing that it’s going to be easy to clean.

If you already have a favorite toy that has pores, like something made of jelly, consider covering it with a condom before using it. You’ll be keeping the toy cleaner by doing so, as well as protecting yourself and your partner, which can help prevent any health issues.

Clean Your Toys Before You Store Them

It might sound obvious, but it’s important to note that, in order to be as clean as possible, you should clean all of your toys right after use. By doing this, there isn’t any time for bodily fluids to harden or dry on your toys, and thus, making them harder to get clean.

Obviously stopping to clean a toy can really ruin the mood, so at worst, rinse your toy with clean water a few minutes after use. This will make it much easier to clean the toy when the time comes, and again, it can go a long way in keeping you and your partner healthy.

Regardless of when you clean your toy, it’s important that you do so before storing it away between uses. And it goes without saying, but using a toy that hasn’t been cleaned first isn’t a good idea, and can make both you and your partner sick.

A pro tip? Even if your toy is clean, a quick rinse to remove any dust before applying your favorite lube and using it never hurt anyone.

Avoid Smelly Soaps and Sprays

It’s quite common for both men and women to want to smell good for their partners. And if you’re going to as far as to clean your bed sheets, and light your favorite scented candle, you might as well make your toys smell good, too, right?

While it may be tempting to spray your toys with your favorite body spray or clean them with scented soaps, it’s actually a bad idea.  Avoid doing this completely, as the chemicals found in smelly soaps and sprays can lead to irritation and even infection.

And both of those things can be a nightmare scenario for both you and your partner to deal with, to say the least.

A good rule of thumb is to stick with anti-bacterial soaps, hot water, and a clean washrag or towel. Don’t try to get too fancy, just be practical and efficient, and you should be good to go.

Avoid the Dishwasher Completely

Did you know that you can wash hats, and other random items, in the dishwasher without damaging them? There are a wide variety of things that aren’t related to food that are dishwasher safe. And cleaning them that way can save a ton of time and energy, which is always a good thing.

With that in mind, there are quite a few sex toys that can also be washed in the dishwasher without being damaged.  And even though this may be true, it’s best to avoid the dishwasher completely, as a lot more can go wrong than right.

The extreme temperatures can melt or affect the shape of your favorite toys. Also, electronic toys can be completely ruined in the dishwasher, which of course, isn’t what you want to happen to something that you paid for.

Again, it can’t be overstated how far you can go with just a bit of hot water and some anti-bacterial soap. And oftentimes, those soaps made for dishwashers have some pretty powerful chemicals in them, which again, can lead to irritation and infection.

So keep it simple and safe and use hot water, anti-bacterial soap, and a sink.

Don’t Be Afraid to Use Boiling Water

The biggest reason that people want to use a dishwasher to clean their toys, besides convenience, is the hot water and the steam. If you’re looking to get this effect, and want to do so in a safer way, try using boiling water.

Before using boiling water to clean your sex toy, you want to make sure that it’s made of a material that is safe to do so with. Toys made from safe materials like stainless steel, silicone, pyrex, in particular, are more than okay to use boiling water on.

It’s worth noting too that, if your toy is motorized, completely submerging them underwater is not a good idea. You can do serious damage to your toys, so avoid mixing too much water with electronic toys to be safe.

Anti-bacterial soap, a little bit of water, and a clean rag or towel is the best way to clean most toys, especially those that you don’t want to get wet fully.

Clean Leather Items Properly

If you have any leather items or toys, you may feel the need to take extra precautions with them, as leather can be a delicate material that needs to be handled correctly. This is 100% true, which is why if you have any leather items, you shouldn’t try to do too much to clean them after use.

Once again, keeping it simple and sticking with hot water, anti-bacterial soap, and a clean rag is without a doubt the best way to go to get the job done.

What about leather cleaners? Are they a good idea?

To keep it short, not really, no. Leather cleaners, like smelly soaps and sprays, contain a lot of chemicals that can cause irritation and infection the next time you use your toy. So with that in mind, it’s a good idea to avoid those completely when cleaning your sex toys.

A Guideline to Cleaning Sex Toys

Well, there you have it! Those are a few basics tips and tricks to keep in mind when cleaning sex toys. So, as long as you keep these ideas in mind, you should remain safe, happy and healthy.

Remember, above all else, don’t avoid cleaning your sex toys completely. Never store away a toy that hasn’t been cleaned, and never use a previously used toy without cleaning it first.

When it comes time to clean your toys, keep it simple and use hot water, anti-bacterial soap, and a clean washrag or towel. You don’t need any fancy chemicals or soaps to get the job done.

If you can, try to buy toys for you and your partner that are the easiest to clean. That way, when it comes time to clean your toys, you’ve got a much easier task on your hands.

Trying to spice up your love life? Looking for some new sex toys for yourself or your partner? Check out our online shop today, we’ll be glad to help you!

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Silicone Sex Toys

The Safest Sex Toy Materials

October 24, 2019
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The Safest Sex Toy Materials

By Nicole Martinez

Although most sex toy manufacturers and retailers are quick to highlight the features of their products — how many times have you seen the “Waterproof” logo or wondered just how many vibration patterns a toy actually needs? — you should also pay attention to the material of sex toys. While it’s true that higher quality vibrators and dildos may have a higher initial investment, some materials are simply safer and healthier. If money is your bottom line, consider that safer materials also tend to need less replacing; thus, you may be saving money in the long run, when you purchase a sex toy made of safe materials.

Generally speaking, the safest materials are those that are non-porous or have a low porosity. Porous materials, like traditional jelly toys, have tiny holes that can harbor bacteria, even when your sex toy is physically clean. Most people disinfect items and surfaces in their home, even if those items come nowhere near the orifices of the body so why wouldn’t you want the same for your sex toy? Non-porous toys may also leak chemicals or oils, have a strong, unpleasant odor and can leech colors from other toys.

The following toys are completely non-pourous, when the entire toy is one piece. You can not only clean these materials with soap and water, but you can boil them for three minutes or treat them with the same bleach recipe that you would use to clean baby toys or bottles to disinfect. Toys without moving parts are safe to sanitize on the top shelf of your dishwasher, in a cycle without detergent. Note that many toys use a combination of materials. Any toy that has a seam offers a place for dirt and grime to hide, just like grout between tiles, even if the materials are all non-pores.

Silicone

Manufacturers such as Tantus have always crafted high-quality silicone products. Silicone ranges from rock-hard to lifelike, if you purchase Tantu’s SuperSoft dildos or a VikSkin piece from Vixen.  Big name companies like California Exotics now also produce a variety of silicone toys. However, companies can label their toys as silicone if they only contain 10% silicone. Be wary of silicone composites such as TPR Silicone because these are somewhat porous. Silicone should have no scent or taste and, most importantly, you can flame test it with a lighter. Pure silicone will not melt in temperatures lower than 600-degrees Fahrenheit; however, the flame test may leave a temporary smudge.

Glass

Glass may seem like an odd material for a sex toy at first but many people love its rigidity for hitting the right spot without a lot of force. It’s incredibly easy to feel the textures of glass sex toys and you can even apply cool or warm water for temperature play –never put the toy in the freeze or microwave as this can weaken the glass. Phallix is especially known for its glass dildos and some even include 24-karat gold.

Rest assured that your glass dildo will not break or even splinter aside of you; however, you may want to take care to store it in a padded pouch and to hold it securely when washing. Glass is especially easy to clean because it is so slick. For this reason, you can also use glass vibrators and dildos with less lubricant than you might need with other materials.

Metal

Metal sex toys, like the anal plugs and dildos from manufacturer Njoy, are rigid like glass but much heavier. Because of this, you may want to thrust more gently to avoid hitting your cervix or other sensitive parts and you want to avoid hitting your sink or dropping them on tile floors as you can damage your home. However, metal toys offer the benefit of being non-porous as well as responsive to temperature changes. 

Acrylics, Ceramics and Wood

Acrylic, ceramic and wood sex toys are not as common as silicone or even glass but consumers enjoy them because they offer hardness without the added weight. These materials may be non-porous; however, you should take care when cleaning them, For example, acrylic and ceramic dildos can scratch and you should not submerge wood because the moisture can allow mold to grow in your sex toys.  Stick to soap and water cleaning.

Ceramic vibrators and dildos are crafted, painted and then treated with a tough glaze that makes them non-porous and difficult to scratch. Ceramics come in every color of the rainbow and the glaze allows your ceramic sex toy to be painted with interesting designs like the dildos and vibrators from Lovemoiselle. Charles Duncan designs bright red and black ceramic pieces with unique shapes.

Acrylics, on the other hand, are a hard, synthetic plastic polymer. Acrylic dildos are translucent or transparent and often clear. However, you may find translucent acrylic sex toys with a hint of color, such as blue or pink.

Wood sex toys, like ceramic, are shaped and treated with a glaze, similar to a wooden salad bowl, that makes them healthy and safe. This safe treatment prevents the wood from splintering. Wood is quite light in comparison to other materials. Check out the dildo and anal toys from toy company Nobessence.

 

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Sex Drive

Seven Tips for Dealing With Incompatible Sex Drives

October 24, 2019
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Seven Tips for Dealing With Incompatible Sex Drives

by Dr. E. C. Gordon

Seven Tips for Dealing With Incompatible Sex Drives

Although sex is not the most important part of a long term relationship, partners with different sex drives can find that this incompatibility starts to interfere with other aspects of their relationship. If your partner seems to be less interested in sex, you can feel unattractive, insecure and frustrated. Meanwhile, if your partner wants to have more frequent sex, you can feel pressured and resentful. Read on to discover seven tips that will help you to understand and deal with the difference between your partner’s sex drive and your own.

1) Have a long, honest conversation:
If you refuse to talk about your sex life, any problems can be magnified and can start to infect unexpected parts of your interpersonal dynamic. After a while, the whole relationship may turn sour. Given these possibilities, avoiding the issue is one of the worst decisions you can make if you and your partner have incompatible sex drives. That being said, many people find it awkward and uncomfortable to have frank conversations about sex, so if you decide to be the one to instigate the conversation then make sure you do so in a way that encourages your partner to open up. Start out by saying that you are not blaming anyone for the issues in your sex life, and that you want to discuss them so that you can work together to find a solution that will make things better. If the conversation starts to become an argument, try to keep calm and remind your partner that you only want to discuss this topic because you care about making sure that the relationship is as good as it can possibly be.

2) Find out whether foreplay is an issue:
People sometimes start to desire sex less because they are not deriving as much enjoyment from the act. In some cases, this is because one partner needs considerably more foreplay in order to feel like they are in the mood for sex. If you are the person with the higher sex drive, ask your partner if they think they would enjoy physical intimacy more if you spent more time kissing or touching before sex. Meanwhile, if you have realized that you would want to have sex more often if your partner tried harder to ‘warm you up’, then say so. This information does not have to be presented in the form of a criticism. For example, you might simply choose to say that you love the way your partner touches you and that you think you would find sex even hotter if more of this foreplay was involved.

3) Consider different forms of sexual intimacy:
Incompatible sex drives occasionally result from physical difficulties or discomfort. For example, men who struggle with erection problems may have lower sex drives due to nervousness and anxiety associated with sex. Meanwhile, women who have regularly experienced pain during sex may start to shy away from the act in case it hurts them. If you and your partner think that your sex life is being undermined by these types of physical issues, give some thought to expanding your sex life. For example, you might start focusing on manual or oral stimulation instead of intercourse.

4) Never have sex if you do not truly want to:
If your sex drive is lower than your partner’s, their unhappiness and your own feelings of guilt may make you feel as though you should just ‘get on with it’ even if you do not feel like doing so. While this may temporarily please the other person, it tends to have negative consequences in the long term. You may feel used or disconnected from your partner, and if they realize that you are having sex when you do not want to then they may feel offended and embarrassed. This type of well-meaning deception can cause trust issues that run deeper and last longer than the problems in your sex life.

5) Never pressure your partner to have sex:
If you have a higher sex drive than your partner, it is vital that you never make them feel as though they are under pressure  to have sex with you. While you should always be honest if a lack of sex is making you unhappy, you need to draw a distinction between being truthful about your feelings and trying to manipulate your partner into being physically intimate so that you feel better. Your partner is under no obligation to do anything that they do not want to do, and trying to pressure someone into having sex is a form of psychological abuse that violates the person’s autonomy.

6) Think about trying new things:
If you used to have compatible sex drives and there are no obvious physical or emotional issues that could be causing a reduction in one of your sex drives, boredom may be the root cause. Although it is often easiest to continue repeating a tried and tested sexual routine, over time the repetition can lead to one or both parties feeling somewhat numb to what used to be a satisfying source of stimulation. When prompted to reflect, the member of the relationship with the lower sex drive may realize and admit that they would be more interested in sex if there was more variety on offer. You can then discuss new positions, purchases and ideas that might make intimacy more exciting (and make your sex drives more compatible).

7) Explore counseling:
Finally, sex therapists and certain relationship counselors are trained to help couples explore the reasons underlying their sexual difficulties, so it is worth considering this option if discussions between you and your partner have not managed to improve your sex life. Although it sounds daunting to discuss something so personal with a stranger, remember that counselors and therapists are required to abstain from judgmental behavior or remarks and that they will have seen many other couples with problems that are more unusual than yours.

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